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Batteries, what could be more mellow, more safe, more ho-de-hum, and more hum-drum? Who could have thought that a hot new ad for DURACELL BATTERIES would shake up the public and cause a giant EXPLOSION of 9-VOLT-, AAA-, and DD-rated Excitement??...

QUESTION: WHY NOT LET US TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE POWER OF BATTERIES????

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"DURACELL BATTERIES, with the copper top that won't stop and-we'll-crush-that-goddamn-PINK-bunny-from-the-other-batteries!!!"
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ONLY DURACELL can give you hours of VERY LOUD MUSIC ON YOUR WALKMAN, the ENERGY NEEDED to power your flashlight IN A MOMENT OF CRISIS, and the SAFETY AND CONVENIENCE you demand in a battery.

PS, if anyone still thinks "plugging in" is cool, instead of using batteries:

First up, quick Science Lesson: AC CURRENT, DC CURRENT. AC/DC current is electricity that you can use to power your important appliances, toys, music, etc. One comes from batteries and is safe, convenient, and world-class. One comes from telephone poles and outlets and is dangerous, unreliable, and oh so so lame! "Mom, can I watch TV outside?" "Sorry Billy, but it's plugged in to the wall like a total loser, the stupid TV!!!" Should've gone with DURACELL BATTERIES, Mom, in your TV, so your son Billy could watch it outside!!!!
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?????? 9-Volt, AAA, DD, AA, D, AAAA, C, 4-9 Power Unit

Anyhow.......Click here to put a 9-volt battery of fun in your own mind
Even though you will never look at batteries in the same way again